Friends

Ahh that elusive quest for true friendship. It really can be like a marriage with children involved and time management issues. The old Cost/Benefit analysis of do I get a decent return for my expenditure. It can be hard and you can get burned and spurned. I know I have. Let's look at my last really close friendship. We were both stay at home moms with professional husbands in an upper middle class neighborhood. We met in the summer of 2005 when my dughter was 2 and hers was only 9 months old. I love her little girl so much! She's so cute but it got really old having my daughter always be the one doing something wrong, in T's mind. I've realized over time how completely self absorbed this woman is. She fits in pretty well in this Stepford like neighborhood. She went back to working as a manager of a retail store and the times I would spend with her after that she was always on the phone with work or some other friend from out of town. The way she was on the phone with work you'd think she was managing a store like Bloomindgdales at the Mall of America. Let me assure you this is not the case and for the amount of money she makes, factoring the tax bracket, it's just not worth it. Not to mention what she pays in child care. However, she is happier with her life and I'm glad for that but I feel like some piece of trash left on the side of the highway.
So, I continue in my quest for new good friends with things in common. Lest you think I have no one in my life, I can assure you, that's not the case. I have close friends that we've drifted apart somewhat. Raising kids in different cities will do that but I know I can call them anytime. Whether we'll be able to get together is another story, as well as if our kids get along. This leads me to the internet. I've become part of a group online but even then you wonder how much you're accepted for who you are. Why do I care so much about what some faceless people think about me? A lot are people that I'd never spend time with in my real life but to have arguments online still stings. Then I get the lonely and depressed feeling because I'm pathetically looking on the internet for friends. I'm not socially stunted and I meet people all the time. Things just don't seem to progress to that next level.